This is like the pizza version of that Tinder vs. Admittedly, the $11 pies look a lot nicer in the promo shots, with neatly arranged pepperoni slices and perfectly-placed olive eyes. Papa John’s Jack-O’-Lantern Pizza isn’t new-for-2019, but it’s new-to-me. The fact that one of the biggest candy brands on the planet deliberately added vile trash is just so impressive - and so Halloweeny. When I first heard about Zombie Skittles, I assumed they’d go with a “safe” bad flavor, like black licorice or something. Like, foul enough to where you’ll gladly sacrifice all of the good Skittles to avoid eating a few more bad ones. The taste is more subtle that you might expect given all of the melodramatic reviews online, but it’s undoubtedly foul. People have compared the taste of Zombie Skittles to everything from rotten eggs to garlic aioli, but I found the flavor to be more in the area of “artificial tomato.” I know that doesn’t sound so bad, but in practice, holy fuck yuck. Mixed into every bag of otherwise-delicious Zombie Skittles are candies that look normal, but taste like - and I’m quoting them, here - “rotten zombie.” BK’s new lean on this “10 restaurants only” gimmick is icky, and I hope they stop doing that.) (And that A+ is strictly for the execution of the sandwich. (Which I appreciate, as I’ve always found Burger King’s regular bread to be pretty cardboardy.) I guess I can’t claim that it’s as visually striking as the Halloween Whopper or Nightmare King, but man, basing a cheeseburger on a goddamned SHEET GHOST hits all of my sweet spots. The white cheddar bun isn’t just tasty, but also softer than Burger King’s norm. For the purposes of this review, I’ll just say that Ghost Whoppers are really, REALLY good, and totally deserved a nationwide release. Me and Jay drove all the way into Philadelphia to try these, but if you wanna hear that story, you’ll need to listen to this month’s Purple Stuff bonus episode. It’s only available at 10 locations in the United States, which is cool if you live near one and absolutely soul-destroying if you don’t. Meet the GHOST WHOPPER, with its deathly pale white cheddar bun. We spent the whole season wondering if Burger King would come through with another huge Halloween promotion, and the answer is… um, kind of? Sooo, here’s the third edition of 2019’s Best Halloween Junk Food, featuring everything from Skittles that taste like vomit to pizza that thinks it’s a pumpkin. I mean, the idea of a whole Halloween Countdown slipping by without any coverage of Ghoul-Aid Popping Candy? Shit makes me sick. I suppose there isn’t much value in spooky junk food reviews this late into the season, but whatever, I’m doing this one just for me.
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